For those who haven't heard of her, Ayaan Hirsi Ali is a Somali-born writer, politician and activist who was voted in as a member of the Dutch Parliament after immigrating there and has since moved to the United States. She is most famous for renouncing her faith in Islam and protesting vigourously against abuses perpetrated in the name of that religion, and was one half of the duo behind the controversial film Submission (the other was Theo Van Gogh, who was later murdered by a radical Islamist due to his involvement).

Though I've followed Hirsi Ali's career for several years and admire her greatly, it took me a long time to get around to reading her autobiography, Infidel. This was shortly before I started giving book reviews, but if I had written one I would have given it a 9 out of 10. The Caged Virgin was Hirsi Ali's first book, written after the murder of Van Gogh but before her move to the U.S. Though there are snippets of her life and experiences in every chapter, here she focuses on the plight of women trapped in the cage of fundamentalist Islam, particularly those living in western countries such as the Netherlands.

The Caged Virgin is not an exhaustive treatise on the subject of women and Islam. Instead it reminded me of a row of snapshots - every chapter touches on a different facet of the subject, and each is complete in itself, making for interesting but disjointed reading. One chapter described Hirsi Ali's advice to young women planning on running away from home, while another contained a full transcription of Submission.

While this all makes for interesting reading, there wasn't much there that I hadn't read before. It works strongest as a quick introduction to the role of women under Islam - much like a plate of appetizers, it loses much of its appeal after the main course has been served. I'd still encourage everyone to read it, but my advice would be to buy Infidel, borrow The Caged Virgin.

Score: 6/10

Like a lot of people, I went camping this summer. Now, I like to think that I'm a reasonable, rational person. I like to imagine that I can look at a situation from a logical perspective without getting dragged into useless emotions like fear.

This delusion lasted approximately until the sun went down.

Two mostly sleepless nights later, after I'd spent hours in a near-panic due to fears of everything from bears to axe murderers to the ludicrous idea that a deer might fall on my tent and crush me to death, I decided that it was time to face down my overactive imagination. I might not be able to do anything about axe murderers and clumsy deer, but I could certainly learn more about bears, hopefully putting my fears to rest. So I went down to my local library and put in a request for Bear Attacks, which I later learned should have been bylined The Most Terrifying Book Ever Written.

Don't get me wrong, I learned a great deal about bears. Stephen Herrero is quite well-known in my area for his research and knowledge of bears, and his book is easy to understand. Unfortunately, one of the things I learned is that bears do, in fact, occasionally rip people out of tents and murder them. I also learned that this is extremely rare, especially in areas where good wildlife management is practiced, such as national parks, but happens often enough that I think I'll be taking good quality sleeping pills along on my next camping trip if I want to keep my imagination at bay.

He also describes, in detail, many bear encounters both fatal and non-fatal. Different species of bear react differently to threats and temptations, so the best course of action when faced by a bear depends on whether it is a black bear or a grizzly bear. Herrero makes a convincing argument that when encounters resulting in death or severe injury are studied, in most cases the victims reacted in ways that would increase the severity of the attack. He also makes it clear that allowances must be made for both the personality of the bear and the circumstances of the attack, and that sometimes there is no 'right' response to an angry bear.

Bear Attacks was originally published in 1985, and I was disappointed to see that the only change to the 2002 edition was to the introduction. A great deal has changed in wildlife management since then, and I would have liked to see if there was any evidence that the incidence or severity of bear-human encounters has decreased during that time. That being said, I suppose that the bears themselves haven't changed since then, so advice given 25 years ago would be just as relevant today.

Despite the nightmare-inducing stories and scary pictures (nothing gory, but the sight of a camp trailer ripped open by a hungry black bear does give one pause for thought), I'd recommend this book for anyone planning to spend some time outside in bear country. Many encounters happen when we humans least expect it, and proper planning can mean the difference between a great day in the outdoors and a trip to the emergency room (or worse). Just make sure you're in a nice, solid house when you read it, and keep the lights on. Trust me.

Score: 7/10

 Before the summer of 2006, most people in North America probably wouldn't have recognized the name Warren Jeffs. Sure, everybody knew that Mormons had practiced polygamy once upon a time, and many were aware that the practice still flourished in secret, but outside of certain areas of British Columbia and the Midwest, very few people knew what went on behind closed doors in places like Bountiful and Hildale.

That changed in August of 2006, when Warren Jeffs, leader of one of the largest polygamous groups in North America, was arrested in Nevada after spending three months on the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list. With him when he was arrested were one of his brothers (of about 60 siblings) and one of his many wives (he has at least 17, and some claim as many as 70). He was transferred to the aptly-named Purgatory Correctional Facility in Utah, and stood trial in September of the next year.

The charges? Two counts of being an accomplice to rape. His accuser? Elissa Wall, then known as Jane Doe IV.

The trial and its outcome are a matter of public record, but even that unprecedented glimpse into the secret lives of members of the FLDS didn't tell the whole story. I've long had an interest in polygamous groups and their offshoots, and after following the trial quite closely I wasn't expecting to read much that I hadn't heard before, but even I was surprised at some of the details of day-to-day life in the FLDS inner circle. Most of my reading has centred around the Bountiful enclave (the group's Canadian settlement), which, though it certainly has its share of trouble and tyrants, is hundreds of miles removed from the FLDS 'prophet' and the seat of power. Elissa Wall had a front row seat to the power struggles that enveloped the leaders and their families - Warren Jeffs was one of her teachers in school, and two of her sisters were married to the previous prophet, Rulon Jeffs.

Overall I found Stolen Innocence to be fascinating and heartbreaking. The writing style is engaging, and once I picked it up I found I couldn't put it down until I finished it. Events are described matter of factly, a manner meant to inform rather than titillate. The authors do a good job of pointing out the rot in FLDS society and its leaders without demonizing rank and file members, particularly Elissa Wall's mother, Sharon Steed, who remains in the group along with her two youngest daughters. They make a particular point of thoroughly explaining the core doctrines of the faith, which is a must for anyone trying to understand how a man could allow his sons to be turned out on the side of the highway for disobediance, or how a woman could allow herself and her children to be 'reassigned' to a different man. Even if you have never read another book about fundamentalism or polygamy, I would encourage anyone with an interest in stories of survival to give it a try.

Score: 8/10

No offense to any responsible dog owners and/or parents out there. Can you please move to my neighborhood and displace all the idjits? Pretty please?

( Rant ahead! )

It's come to my attention that I sound like a tool most of the time, so I just went back and deleted a whole mess of old entries. Not that the 'sounding like a tool' thing is going to change in the future, but I thought it would be good to minimize my impact on the planet. You know, protect the future for the next generation, and all that. I've also f-locked anything that mentions my job in any detail, so if you want to know more about the very exciting lifestyle of a perioperative nurse you'll just have to find a way to befriend me.

I haven't been posting much lately, but my story's coming along great. I just started chapter 23, so I'd say I have fewer than ten chapters left. I've got a ton of time off this summer, so I'm going to try really hard to have it finished by the beginning of September. I would love to be able to start posting around the time that New Moon hits theatres, but I also don't want to rush and not be happy with the finished product. I've been working on it for almost a year now, so I want to finish it off right.

Part Two of Sundown is done!

Only one more part to go... ten or fifteen chapters left. Either way, I'm over half finished.

I have a wild hope that I'll be done the first draft by the end of August and that I can begin posting in time for the release of the next movie... but no guarantees.

7 months - 17 chapters - 81,000 words

Tagged by jenni_cn 

1. make a list of 5 things you can see without getting up:
a.) The hockey game on my tv (Go Flames!)
b.) A black and white cat
c.) My exercise bike
d.) My husband, making D&D game pieces in photoshop (don't ask)
e.) A huge glass jar full of jellybeans

2. how do you style your hair?
It's long, so I just leave it loose or put it up in a bun. Sometimes I'll braid it if I'm going running or I want curls the next day.

3. what are you wearing now?
Pyjama pants, a technical shirt, a hoodie and chenille socks

4. what's your occupation?
OR nurse extraordinaire

5. the best thing to happen to you as of late?
I made it to chapter 15 in my story

6. what is one word you would use to describe yourself?
Crazy

7. what's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
Twilight, specifically Edward/Bella

8. what was the last thing you ate today?
Pizza from Little Caeser's

9. what was the last text message you received?
Believe it or not, I've never texted in my life. I don't think my phone is even set up to receive them.

10. what websites do you always visit when you go online?
LJ, my email, Fark, a couple of political blogs

11. what was the last thing you bought?
Three dishclothes and a cleaning cloth from Norwex. Their stuff rocks.

12. what are you listening to right now?
The hockey game, which would be jollier if CBC would stop playing random songs about shit towns in Saskatchewan during the intermission. Also, my team needs to score.

13. what do you think about before you go to bed at night?
What happened during my day, my story, whatever pops into my head.

14. what was the last cd you bought?
I don't remember, it was so long ago.

15. what is your favorite weather, and why?
I like thunderstorms, even if I'm caught outside in one. I love the clouds and the wind.

16. if you could play any musical instrument, which one would you play?
Violin

17. how are you?
Chillin'

18. what's something you'd like to say to someone right now?
I wish all the nutjobs in the fandom would STFU. Maybe it's just my innate Canadianishness coming out, but I don't see the point in hassling people for having a different opinion or writing a fic you don't like. Be polite or keep it on your own blog. Or just shut up entirely and get a new hobby. Christ.

19. what's one of your favorite movies?
Anchorman

20. what's your dream job?
The one I have :)

I had a whole post written about my marathon training and various things, and for some reason I hit 'back' on my browser instead of 'post' at the bottom of the screen. Oops.

So instead I'll just write what I had originally set out to post:

Sundown - 5 months - 14 chapters - 67,067 words

4,800 words per chapter - 447 words per day

The WPD is right on target, but over the last month I've tried to move away from focusing on word count. I found I was spending too much time on it and producing way too little for the effort. Instead I've tried to work more from a perceived effort angle: I have to do one hour each day (two on my days off) or until I feel that I've accomplished enough for that day, whichever comes first. I've also been experimenting with outlining each chapter more thoroughly and then fleshing out each part as it comes to me instead of trying to write in a strictly linear fashion. I seem to have fewer problems with writer's block that way, so I'm still producing as much as ever even though I haven't been monitoring my words counts. I've even had time to do a bit of revising on the first draft of the first part, and that always feels good.

Part one of Sundown is complete! Two more parts to go!

I'm going to continue with my goal of 500+ words a day as I head into part two, but I'll probably begin to start revising what I've written as a side project. In a perfect world I'd have a few chapters ready to post by the time I finished my rough draft of part three, but since I'm both lazy and a massive perfectionist I can't promise that's going to happen.

Four months, eleven chapters, 57,000 words.

475 words a day, 555 if you count all the background material I've been writing.

My calculator tells me that this has been my most productive month yet. I'm such a geek, I'll probably make a graph.

One of my unofficial resolutions for the New Year was to stop comparing my story to everything else out there. I've come to the conclusion that I simply can't read critiques of other people's writing, because then I start to second guess every single thing I've ever written. It's completely counter-productive. In the past I've tried to talk myself out of these ruts I would fall into every time I read something that slagged a book or an author I enjoyed, but I realized about a month ago that there's really no point. I mean, I still do the self-talk thing if I have to, but why should I keep on reading things that only make me upset. Better to just accept that I have a really fragile ego and move on.

I think it's been working out so far. Not only am I more positive about my writing, I'm also wasting a lot less time on fanfiction forums. Now instead of ending up in a funk every few days I only feel down once or twice a month when a new chapter of IVO comes out and I weep with sorrow that I will never be able to write anything so awesome.

Sigh.... oh, well.

Mini-rant of the week: I was so happy when lion_lamb stopped allowing people to post graphics along with their stories. Twilighted is getting almost painful to browse lately due to the influx of eye-bleedingly bad banners attached to every single damn story. And not only are they ugly, they are also huge!

The worst is when a story that already has a ginormous banner attached to it gets nominated for an award, so the author adds another massive fugly banner right below the first. And I see the oh-so-modest practice of quoting positive reviews as part of the story summary is gaining popularity.

At first it was only a few stories adding all this junk on the main page, but now almost every story has a banner. I've seen several stories in the last week with completely out of control summaries: Huge story banner followed by a review blurb followed by another huge award banner. The actual description of the story is usually sandwiched in at this point, and then a solid paragraph of author's notes (usually in bold) and another paragraph detailing all the rewrites and changes made to the story since the initial posting. Oh, and throw in about a dozen extraneous spaces just to make the whole thing as enormous and ugly as possible.

All of this would be bad enough on its own, but the Twilighted site is on a black background with its very own irritating animation that re-loads on Every. Single. Page. I don't even read the story summaries any more, I just scroll down and glance at the story titles until I see something that catches my eye. I'd probably give up on the site completely except that IVO seems to get posted there before ff.net and there's a couple fics that aren't found anywhere else. Plus, I just went to all the trouble of getting my stories posted there, so I might as well stick with it.

Seriously, whatever happened to telling people about your fic in 150 words or less? Am I the only one who is bothered by this?

Sea of Love; the original original version by Phil Phillips. Blows every cover ever made out of the water. Sorry, Robert Plant.

Tagged by jenni_cn

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged.

1.) The taste or smell of honey makes me feel sick to my stomach, to the point that if someone is eating a sandwich with honey on it I have to leave the room.

2.) I have artificial lenses in both of my eyes due to serious nearsightedness. April Fool's Day will be the one year anniversary of my surgery, and it was the best decision I ever made.

3.) Despite being Canadian, I hate maple syrup.

4.) I can honestly say that I love my job.

5.) I can't seem to get into AH fic, despite several attempts.

6.) I own two very bad cats.

7.) I can't blow my nose. I've never been able to. No matter how hard I try, nothing happens.

8.) I look more like my stepmother than my mother.

9.) When I was 12, I won a belt buckle in a rodeo for being the first to rope a calf and pull it across the finish line.

10.) Politically, I would describe myself as a conservative with libertarian leanings.

11.) I am a poor driver, and can be convinced to take the wheel only in rare circumstances. New Year's Eve was the first time I'd driven a car in three years.

12.) I have never had a credit card.

13.) I have been bitten by a horse, and attacked by a squirrel.

14.) I worked in a photo lab while I was finishing university. Aside from my current job, it was the best job I've had.

15.) The two countries I would like to visit the most are Israel and Japan.

16.) I don't get along with my in-laws, and can hardly stand to be around them for more than a few hours.

Tagging... well, I actually don't have 16 people on my flist, so I'll tag anyone who wants to do it.

My resolutions for the coming year:

-Finish Sundown, and remember that it's me that I'm writing it for, not anybody else

-Run the Lost Souls Ultra in September

-Make my way through my Japanese grammar book by the end of the year

Hope everyone has a good New Year's Eve, no matter what you are doing.

I feel like crap today.

None of my usual hobbies give me any pleasure right now. I don't want to read, I don't want to write, I don't even want to play video games. I've been on the verge of tears all day and I don't know why.

Today is the worst day, but I've been feeling like this for a few weeks now. I've gotten on this really negative bent where every time I read someone else's writing I end up comparing my own to it. Then I feel like my stuff is all garbage and I don't want to write anymore. Usually when I feel crummy I curl up in bed with a good fanfic, but I'm actually scared to read any of my favorites because I'm just going to end up beating myself up over it.

I've had this problem for most of my life (especially at this time of year... don't know if it's the lack of sunlight or what) and I know it will pass, but it's seriously the worst feeling ever. I just want to curl up in a ball somewhere and have a good cry, but it's like I don't even have enough energy for that.

I've just posted most of my stories over at Twilighted.net if anyone prefers reading them in that format. All of my future stuff is going to be posted there as well (assuming it gets accepted, of course). Link to my profile is here.

I might not be online as often for the next month or so - I received some bad news this morning so I might take some time to work through things. Right now I'm channeling all my anger into writing, so I might be around just as much as usual. Just thought I'd give people a heads up in case I vanished off the face of the earth. Anyone who's read this journal has probably noticed I like to rant about things, so there might be some venting going on.

Anyway, I hope all my American friends had a nice Thanksgiving, and hopefully things will be looking up by Christmas.

So I've been making a track listing of music to go along with Sundown, with the intention of providing a link to mood music for each chapter as I post it, and I just realized the song I had chosen for the big smut scene between Edward and Bella is actually about lesbians.

FANMIX FAIL

Sundown: two months, five chapters, 27,000 words. Booyah!

Rant on:

I thought I'd be too busy squeeing over the Twilight movie to do much writing this weekend, but I've decided that I'm not going to see it for at least a few weeks. If the recent appearances by the actors are anything to go by, I won't be able to hear a damn thing over all the prepubescent shrieking. I have very little patience for that sort of thing, so I know if I go I'll just end up getting angry and punching some twit in the kidney. Which would be wrong. Hilarious, but wrong.

Kind of makes me wish we were back in the days when half the fandom was declaring they weren't going to go see the movie because they hated Rob's mantastic unkempt eyebrows, or something. Bleh. And this whole 'OMG RPattz and KStew are secretly dating' thing is starting to piss me off. Believe me, I ship R/K as much as anyone else (and you have no idea how dirty writing that sentence makes me feel) but it's getting out of hand. For some reason it doesn't seem to have occurred to people that maybe they always seem awkward around each other because everyone is always going on about how they have AMAZING CHEMISTRY ALL THE TIME AND THEY WERE MADE TO PLAY THESE ROLES AND OMG THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL1!!11 Really, wouldn't that freak you out a little, especially if you were in a relationship with someone else? Y/Y? Hell, I'd be scared to even look at each other for fear that I'd be taken as proof that we were bound together in some sort of secret demonic blood pact. It's getting to the point that I think it's disrespectful to the actors and poor Michael Oregano (who is not some quasi-evil Jacob stand-in BTW).

Rant over.

"We're going over the top tomorrow, Rilla-my-Rilla. I wrote mother and Di yesterdy, but somehow I feel as though I must write you tonight. I hadn't intended to do any writing tonight - but I've got to. Do you remember old Mrs. Tom Crawford over-harbour, who was always saying that it was 'laid on her' to do such and such a thing? Well, that is just how I feel. It's 'laid on me' to write you tonight - you, sister and chum of mine. There are some things I want to say before - well, before tomorrow.

"You and Ingleside seem strangely near me tonight. It's the first time I've felt this since I came. Always home has seemed so far away - so hopelessly far away from this hideous welter of filth and blood. But tonight it is quite close to me - it seems to me I can almost see you - hear you speak. And I can see the moonlight shining white and still on the old hills of home. It has seemed to me ever since I came here that it was impossible that there could be calm gentle nights and unshattered moonlight anywhere in the world. But tonight somehow, all the beautiful things I have always loved seem to have become possible again - and this is good, and makes me feel a deep, certain, exquisite happiness. It must be autumn at home now - the harbour is a-dream and the old Glen hills blue with haze, and Rainbow Valley a haunt of delight with wild asters blowing all over it - our old 'farewell-summers'.

"Rilla, you know I've always had premonitions. You remember the Pied Piper - but no, of course you wouldn't - you were too young. One evening long ago when Nan and Di and Jem and the Merediths and I were together in Rainbow Valley I had a queer vision or presentiment - whatever you'd like to call it. Rilla, I saw the Piper coming down the Valley with a shadowy host behind him. The others thought I was only pretending - but I saw him for just one moment. And Rilla, last night I saw him again. I was doing sentry-go and I saw him marching across No-man's-land from our trenches to the German trenches - the same tall shadowy form, piping weirdly - and behind him followed boys in khaki. Rilla, I tell you I saw him - it was no fancy - no illusion. I heard his music - and then, he was gone. But I had seen him - and I knew what it meant - I knew I was among those who followed him.

"Rilla, the Piper will pipe me 'west' tomorrow. I feel sure of this. And Rilla, I'm not afraid. When you hear the news, remember that. I've won my own freedom here - freedom from all fear. I shall never be afraid of anything again - not of death - nor of life, if, after all, I am to go on living. And life, I think, would be the harder of the two to face - for it could never be beautiful for me again. There would always be such horrible things to remember - things that would make life ugly and painful always for me. I could never forget them. But whether it's life or death, I'm not afraid, Rilla-my-Rilla, and I am not sorry that I came. I'm satisfied. I'll never write the poems I once dreamed of writing - but I've helped to make Canada safe for the poets of the future - for the workers of the future - ay, and the dreamers, too - for if no man dreams, there will be nothing for the workers to fulfill - the future, not of Canada only but of the world - when the 'red rain' of Langemarck and Verdun shall have brought forth a golden harvest - not in a year or two, as some foolishly think, but a generation later, when the seed sown now shall have had time to germinate and grow. Yes, I'm glad I came, Rilla. It isn't only for the fate of the little sea-born island that I love that is in the balance - nor of Canada nor of England. It's the fate of mankind. That is what we're fighting for. And we shall win - never for a moment  doubt that, Rilla. For it isn't only the living who are fighting - the dead are fighting too. Such an army cannot be defeated.

"Is there laughter in your face yet, Rilla? I hope so. The world will need laughter and courage more than ever in the years that will come next. I don't want to preach - this isn't any time for it. But I just want to say something that may help you over the worst when you hear that I've gone 'west'. I've a premonition about you, Rilla, as well as about myself. I think Ken will go back to you - and that there are long years of happiness for you by-and-by. And you will tell your children of the Idea that we fought and died for - teach them that it must be lived as well as died for, else the price paid for it will have been given for nought. This will be part of your work, Rilla. And if you - all you girls back in the homeland - do it, then we who don't come back will know that you have not 'broken faith' with us.

"I meant to write Una tonight, too, but I won't have time now. Read this letter to her and tell her that it's really meant for you both - you two dear, fine loyal girls. Tomorrow, when we go over the top, I'll think of you both - of your laughter, Rilla-my-Rilla, and the steadfastness of Una's blue eyes - somehow I see those eyes very plainly tonight, too. Yes, you'll both keep faith - I'm sure of that - you and Una. And so - goodnight. We go over the top at dawn."

--Walter Blythe's last letter home before falling at Courcelette
(Rilla of Ingleside, L.M. Montgomery)

So now that the election is over and it looks like Hopey McChangitude has it in the bag, does that mean people will stop using those stupid 'Twilight Fans for Obama' icons? Because that alone would make an Obama victory worthwhile.

And before anyone flips out and calls me a raaaaaaaaacist, I just want to say I'm not much of a McCain fan either. If I had my way they'd both lose. I just find hardcore Obama supporters more irritating than a cloud of mosquitos, and just about as prolific. I'm tired of seeing that damned logo everywhere.

Not that my opinions on American politics matter to anyone besides myself, because I am as Canadian as a maple syrup drenched Nanaimo bar with an inferiority complex. I just wanted to get that off my chest.

Just been writing, bb's. Chapter four will be done tomorrow or even tonight, if the inspiration strikes me.

It's looking like Sundown is going to run somewhere between 30 and 35 chapters, which based on word count will actually make it almost as long as Twilight. Which is kind of awesome, but also means it's going to take me about a year to finish if I keep writing at the same rate. And that's if I don't take any time off to finish editing The Blackest of Blasphemies*. So sad. I wish I was one of those people who can churn out a quality chapter every five days, but I have a short attention span when it comes to writing. I can usually only do about 500 words in a sitting, and then I have to get up and do something else. Plus I work full-time, which cuts into valuable fandom time.

This will be the longest thing I've ever written, and I can see now why most people post chapters as they finish them. It's hard to write something that long without any positive feedback - I want to release it nooooooooow. Argh. So frustrating. But I'm not going to cave. There's no way I can finish a novel length fanfic without writing myself into a corner, so I need to be able to go back and change things at will. Plus it's totally ass when people post half of a story and then abandon it, and I promised I would never do that to anyone. Not that I'm planning on ever giving up on this one, but that's where my rule comes from.

Delayed gratification, ftw.

* I am going to post the damn thing eventually, but it still needs a ton of work and I find I need to be in the right frame of mind to write suicidal Edward. I'm a lot less forgiving with my multi-chapter stories than with my one-shots - I want every line to be perfect before I post it, and there's a long way to go before I get there. I might work on it now and then as the inspiration strikes, but right now Sundown in begging to be written so that's where my focus is. I'll probably start working on it in earnest once Sundown gets its month off. You know, in like, a year. :(